My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize