Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
