Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
