Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
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so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
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You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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