i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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