how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
