see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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