The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Me too!
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
