We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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