I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize