My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Randomize
