I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
