it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
