5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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