how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
