How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
how does that bad decision feel?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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