Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
