I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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