ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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