As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
