Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
