I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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