Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
