My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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