Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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