How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
