Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
