i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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