this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
