yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
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Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
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I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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