I think I died a long time ago.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
