Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
