there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
