oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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