Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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