You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Come see our sink grown plant.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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