on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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