this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
