I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm too high and old for this...
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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