OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
