Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
