we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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