Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
