the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
