I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
