Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
