So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
These tits shall not be calmed
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
