Fuck appropriateness.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
