Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
