Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
