You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
