how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize