i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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