Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
