i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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