i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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