Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
this beer tastes like vomit already
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
